How to Achieve Anything

New Year’s Resolutions are beautiful thing, especially for the first two-three weeks while the inertia of the initial excitement still carries on the commitment. Statistics can be cruel but accurate as on average over 80% of the resolutions start to fade away by the third week in January and are completely dropped by mid-February. Interestingly, the top most popular new year’s resolutions we set to achieve are related to Self-Care, Relationships, Saving money and Recreational fun. In other words, they are meant to improve our own well-being and quality of life. So, where do we fall short and decide to surrender our dreams instead of living life on our terms? 

 

I will present you with some of the most common Dream Saboteurs: 

We love new beginnings as they are full of promises and dreams. As more things, we dream to achieve as more excited and enthusiastic we become. And that feels great, without having done any work, due to a complimentary dose of Dopamine – the feeling good hormone that our body produces when we are in a state of excitement and enthusiasm. Although, having too many dreams is really better than not having any, when it comes to making them reality it can become a little bit too much. Juggling dreams is not a good idea as, with time, can become exhausting or overwhelming activity. I personally have been there and the feeling that was left was annoyance with oneself, feeling of failure and not been good/clever/competent enough. Good recipe for Self-Depreciation. 

And, they are easily available. We want the result and believe that the naturally generated initial ‘feeling good’ state will remain the high intensity as it was at the beginning of our journey. Unfortunately, when the first challenge appears (challenges are part of life and definitely guaranteed, so please do not fool yourself that it is going to be an easy ride) the excitement may turn into frustration and we become very keen on finding a ‘valid reason’ (aka excuse) to do something that seems to be ‘more important’ (aka distraction) at that particular moment and, perhaps, something that is ‘out of our control’ (aka surrender responsibility). For example, blaming others for not achieving your resolutions is a Self-Defeating Belief used as an external excuse to justify our own lack of, ether commitment, creativity or responsibility. 

Although motivation is a necessary requirement for any achievement, if not running deep from our core, it will eventually let you down. It is what you do in moments when motivation runs out, that will secure your success. As mentioned above, it is easy to find excuses to drop out, but if we have found the main reason to ‘Why’ we want that dream, resolution or change, the energy will be still there despite the set- backs on the way. 

Often we have more than one. It is difficult to summarise the Self-Defeating Beliefs. Those are usually thoughts and views about the world, others and yourself that are either negative of untrue. They could contribute to poor self-image and self-perception and there is high possibility that the ruts may lay in the past. Through therapy we can explore, challenge and address those undetected hand-brakes that very often when pulled, can derail us form the right course of action. 

Lack of clarity, precision and depth when formulating our resolutions. It is more like wishful thinking rather than a proper target we have clear view of. And we know that foggy targets get missed. That is why resolutions (aka dreams) really need to be turned into goals with a clear, vivid outcome in mind. 

If you tell me that you set off to go to a place you have never been before without an outlined, step-by-step plan, without knowing how you getting there, by what means and how long it is going to take you, forgive me, but I will feel a little bit perplexed. There may be many different ways to achieve what you want, but you have to pick one and stick to it. 

Finally, I hope you are doing great in your stride for a better life, especially under the present adversities that the Corona Virus Pandemic brought to our lives. However, if you recognised any of the above Dream Saboteurs and you need to know more here is my email: info@bilyanawharton.com or you can visit www.bilyanawharton.com for more information.